Welcome to BloomSphere! My name is Angel Medina, and I am thrilled to begin this journey of sharing insights and experiences as a parent and relationship coach. As someone that is both Autistic and ADHD, someone that has been raising children for 11 years, has been divorced and is now remarried in a thriving relationship, I’ve walked a unique path in both parenting and partnership. My journey has been filled with challenges, learning moments and growth, and now, I want to help others that might be on a similar path.
I’m a proud parent of three children, two that are also neurodivergent, and a dedicated wife to my husband, William, who is also neurodivergent and previously divorced. Together, we navigate the intricacies of parenting, relationships and self-discovery. Through this blog, I hope to share my experiences, provide support, and build a community where we can all learn and grow together.
Recently, I was studying the knowledge of how most humans frontal cortex becomes fully developed around age 25. What I found was that in neurodivergent individuals, this can actually be postponed until around age 35. For so long, I have felt like a failure for not being as advanced as my peers. I’ve been unsure and mostly floated in life because of this feeling of not being ready. Neurodivergency isn’t limited to those of us that are Autistic, ADHD or otherwise “disabled”. Those that have suffered great losses, trauma and depression can also be considered neurodivergent. That means that more people could be affected by this later brain development than we currently know.
It wasn’t until I hit age 28 that I really started to flesh out as a person. I can distinctly remember in 2019 feeling something shift in me, the realization that I was an adult. I realize this may be controversial to some; I had been a mother for 6 years almost at that point. I do believe I always have done my best by my children, but my best wasn’t the same in those early years. Truthfully, we live in a very different world than I had imagined I would be in during my parenting years. I believed I would have a huge support system and for a while, I confused gentle parenting with permissive parenting- partially due to lack of resources and partially due to not knowing what I needed myself. I needed to heal from a childhood I didn’t even fully remember. I needed to accept diagnoses that I felt ashamed about. I needed to reparent myself with the tools that could have helped me grow and made a real impact on my life. I also needed to realize that there wasn’t much of a support system to lean on when I needed help. I had a complex situation and relationship with my extended family so there wasn’t anyone to tap in when I needed a break. In fact, that was a huge reason behind the epic fail of my marriage. We never got the chance to grow together because we were suffocating from our home life.
Realizing I was a neurodivergent parent helped me look at my challenges in a new light. One of my biggest struggles is balancing the needs of my children with my own sensory and emotional needs. There are days when sensory overload makes it difficult to be fully present, and communication differences can make misunderstandings even in the most loving of families, which I believe ours is truly a beautifully loving family.
Another major challenge has been the pressure to parent in ways that align with the societal norm. I have felt inadequate and frustrated when the traditional ways didn’t work for our family. The idea that I should always be calm and patient with my husband and children loomed over my head incessantly. I experience intense emotional responses due to my neurodivergence, and truthfully, so do my children. Shutting off this side of me did nothing but cause explosions at the worst moments. I would keep all these thoughts and emotions pent up, afraid to be even the smallest bit emotional about things, and then something would trigger me so extremely that I would blow up like a volcano even over something that maybe wasn’t that big of a deal in reality.
Does that mean that I shouldn’t have become a parent or wife? Many neurodivergent people believe the misconception that being different means that we are less than capable of being a good parent or partner. This is a lie. Neurodivergent parents and partners bring incredible strengths to the table—like deep empathy, creative problem-solving, and a unique understanding of other’s experiences. Challenging this misconception allowed for me to build a more inclusive understanding of what it meant to be in a partnership and have a relationship with someone, lover, friend or child. My neurodivergency isn’t a barrier to being a great parent or partner; it’s a different way of experiencing that world.
So here I am today, a mom with a list or two and schedules galore. There’s a system for almost every aspect of mine and my family’s lives. We prioritize these systems and routines because they allow for life to be more productive and moments to be more meaningful. You may be thinking, “But I am not neurodivergent, so I should be able to do everything without the use of systems, schedules, routines and other tools. Shouldn’t I just be able to be a good person, partner and parent?”. No. In both neurotypical and neurodivergent parenting and relationship building, I have found that the key to navigating the complexities of daily life lies in creating effective systems, schedules, routines and lists. For neurodivergent individuals these tools aren’t just helpful—they are essential.
Meanwhile, a neurotypical family may not believe they need everything written down or constant reminders. They might be able to create a system and set out the necessary tools without ever needing a written system to help with keeping up—But why not make sure to cover all your bases? In reality, how many fully neurotypical families are there anymore? A huge percentage of our population is experiencing mental health crises and being diagnosed later in life. One of the things I have learned over the years is that no matter the person, structure can provide a sense of security and predictability.
By implementing consistent routines, I can better manage the sensory and emotional demands of each day, while also creating a stable environment for my loved ones. What does that look like for us? For one, having a daily schedule allows for everyone to know what to expect, reducing anxiety and preventing overwhelm. We have specific routines for mornings, mealtimes, and bedtime, which not only keep things running smoothly but also gives us more time to connect as a family without all of the arguing or trying to get things done. Another tool I rely on heavily is lists. Whether it’s my chore chart, which I will share later with you all, or a to-do list for the day, having everything laid out helps me stay organized and ensures that nothing important is forgotten. These lists also help my children learn responsibility and independence, as they can see what needs to be done and take ownership of their tasks. Which by the way, your children, neurodivergent or not, can and should have their own jobs within your home. This is how they can one day manage their own homes. More on that later.
I believe in creating systems that work uniquely for each family or individual. This often means setting up communication systems that account for our different ways of processing information or designing a reward system for every individual that motivates them. For example, body doubling when someone struggles with staying focused on one task at a time can allow for someone to complete a task they might easily get distracted from by having a supportive person nearby to communicate with. Or an allowance system might help motivate chores for one child while a reward of a certain bonding experience may work better with another.
Ultimately, these tools allow for more focus on what really matters—spending quality time together and nurturing our relationships with each other. By putting systems, schedules, and routines in place, we create the space to still be spontaneous, spark joy and find genuine connection in our lives. I’ve finally found a way to bring structure and peace to our daily lives, allowing us to thrive as a family. My approach is centered on authenticity, respect, and understanding—values that have guided me through both the joys and struggles of parenting and partnership.
I started this blog to share my experiences and insights, hoping to connect with others that might be on a similar path. Whether you are neurodivergent or neurotypical, a parent, a partner, or simply someone seeking to build more authentic relationships, I invite you to join me on this journey. Together, we can learn, grow, and create a supportive community where everyone is encouraged to be their true selves. Thank you for taking the time to read my first post. I look forward to sharing more tips, stories, and advice with you in the future. If you’d like to stay updated, please consider subscribing to our socials: facebook, instagram and be on the lookout for our first podcast coming out later this month. I’m excited to embark on this journey with you!
With Love,
Angel Medina
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