This past weekend, I attended a beautiful wedding for an absolutely stunning couple. MY BABY SISTER GOT MARRIED, Y’ALL!!! Look at how absolutely gorgeous and emotional she was walking down with both her dad and step-dad. I sobbed so many times, remembering all the years we had together before I became an adult and we had less time with each other. As I listened to her truly tear-jerkingly beautiful vows to her now husband, I appreciated the future she was promising him. That got me to thinking, what other things will they need to make the relationship last.
Relationships are built on a foundation of love, trust, and mutual respect. But one element that often gets overlooked is commitment. We tend to think of commitment as a single grand gesture—a proposal, a vow, or a promise. While I’m grateful to have the ring, the reality is commitment is more than a one-time event; it’s an ongoing process of showing up for our partners even in the small, everyday moments.
One of the most loving things about my husband is the way he validates what I am going through. I cannot possibly list everything he says or does to help me feel connected and show his commitment, but I want to share some little things he’s said before that can really help us all sound more committed:
“This sounds so heavy. How are you feeling about it all?”
“Do you want to talk about it or have some space?”
“I see you & I hear you. I’m sorry you are going through this.”
“I know I cannot fully comprehend what you are experiencing, but I see the hurt it’s causing you.”
“What do you need from me to feel safe and loved right now?”
“Your feelings make sense.”
“You don’t have to be alone. I am right here with you.”
“I know this isn’t easy to talk about. Thank you for trusting me enough to share it with me.”
Our family has been going through tough times this past month. A loved one is experiencing a terrible and terrifying medical emergency, we’ve had family issues, financial issues…and just when I thought things couldn't get worse, boom, I catch Covid! And guess what? My littles caught it too! How am I supposed to survive with a baby who treats me like an all-night diner—yay breastfeeding!— and a two other babes running around? I'm currently starring in the 3 A.M. show, feeling like a zombie with a head ready to pop! My first instinct was to message the hubby, and what do you know? He's showing off his commitment game like a pro! 🎢😷🤒
Take note of the genuine validation and support he provides. He acknowledges my challenges without belittling them, allowing me to openly share my feelings of unease and pain. In past relationships, whether romantic or platonic, I've encountered individuals who dismissed my struggles, brushed them aside, compared them to their own hardships, or attempted to downplay the seriousness of the situation, albeit with good intentions but falling short...none of those responses demonstrate love or kindness.
So how can we all show up better for our partners, and in doing so, demonstrate our commitment to them? Let’s explore some simple but powerful ways we can make a difference in our relationships.
Active Listening: Be Present in Conversations Our world is so fast-paced, it’s easy to get distracted during conversations. We often listen with the intent to respond rather than to understand. When we actively listen to our partners—without interrupting, judging, or letting our mind wander—we show that we care about their thoughts and feelings. When your partner needs to talk to you, or just wants to talk to you, put away the distractions like your phone and turn off the TV. Give them your full attention. When your partner feels heard and understood, it strengthens the bond of trust and commitment in your relationship.
Supporting Their Growth: Encouraging Personal Development We all need to grow. As a couple, we will push forward with building a better foundation for our future, but that foundation will crack if the individuals are not being build up as well. Encourage your partner to pursue their goals and interests, whether it’s going back to school, starting a new hobby, or seeking therapy to heal past and present wounds. By being their biggest cheerleader, you’re showing your commitment to their well-being and long-term happiness. Growth can sometimes mean growing apart temporarily as you each explore your own paths, but ultimately, it will bring you close in the long run. And if it doesn’t, if this newfound growth leads you or your partner down an entirely new path, remember that we need to be true to ourselves first and foremost.
Small Acts of Kindness: Consistency Over Grand Gestures We all love a grand gesture like a romantic vacation or a bomb proposal, but what really keeps a relationship strong is the small, consistent acts of kindness we show our partners. These are the moments that say, “I’m thinking of you,” without a word being spoken. In my relationship, some of the ways I like to show this is making my husbands lunch for work, fixing his plate at home (and my children’s), and always being up for an autism induced infodump. It can really be a simple as that. A coffee, a note, taking over the chores that they hate. These gestures create an environment of love and support, reinforcing your commitment every day.
Open Communication: Addressing Needs and Concerns Early Commitment will thrive in an atmosphere of openness and honest communication. In order for a relationship to be strong, both partners need to feel safe to express their needs, concerns, and vulnerabilities. When an issue arises, instead of brushing it under the rug or avoiding it, commit to addressing it early with empathy and patience. This doesn’t mean every conversation will be easy; communication is hard sometimes. Tackling these challenges together shows that you are willing to work through the hard times, not just enjoy the good ones.
Respecting Boundaries: Honoring Their Needs Boundaries are essential in every relationship, romantic or platonic. Showing up better for your partner means respecting their emotional, mental, and physical boundaries. If they need space, give it to them. If they’ve set a boundary around certain topics or behaviors, honor it without question. Commitment isn’t about control or ownership; it’s about recognizing that your partner is an individual with their own needs and respecting those needs. I want to note that boundaries are something we place on ourselves ultimately. It is ultimately up to us to ensure our boundaries are respected and secure. We’ll discuss this more later.
Emotional Availablity: Being Vulnerable Together True emotional intimacy comes from being vulnerable with one another. This means showing up emotionally, even when it’s uncomfortable. Sharing your fears, insecurities, and desires deepens your connection and shows that you trust your partner to hold space for you. William knows my deepest truths and my biggest worries. I have ugly sobbed into this man’s bear of a chest more times than I care to admit. I have held his head while he wept, expressing his pain and fears to me. Being emotionally available means being there for your partner when they are vulnerable. A strong commitment is built on the mutual understanding that you can both lean on each other during tough times.
Consistency and Realiability: Following Through What does realiability look like? It’s following through on promises, whether it’s your big vows or the little promises we make every day. If you say you’ll do something, make sure you do it. Your partner needs to know they can count on you, not just in times of crisis but in everyday life. Cleary, the exception to this should be if you aren’t feeling well or there was a crisis going on. This is about those mundane days, the ones that make up a majority of our calendar. The realiability you build through this is the bedrock of commitment. It signals you aren’t just in the relationship for the good times. It shows this is the real deal, long haul kind of relationship.
Showing up better for your partner is the greatest way you can demonstrate your commitment to them. It’s not about being a perfect partner. We all have our days. It’s about consistency, kindness, and understanding. Commitment isn’t a static promise; it’s an active choice to support, listen and grow together every day. You know that saying: Love is a choice you make every day. By focusing on these small, intentional actions, you can nurture a relationship that will stand the tests of time—one where you both feel seen, valued, and committed to one another’s happiness.
How do you show up for your partner? How do they show up for you? What small ways do you both demonstrate your commitment in your relationship? Let us know in the comments below! As always, if you want to send in a question, concern, or story, feel free to and we can take it to the blog or the podcast!
With Love,
Angel Medina
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